And baby makes three

​Bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital can be exciting but also overwhelming. Having the sudden responsibility for the care of a tiny human can feel scary! From feeding to bathing and diaper changing, to responding to the different cries can be a lot to handle, especially with such little sleep. From the strange sleeping and feeding patterns of newborns, to having to slide the delicate arms and fingers through the arm of a sweater, there is a steep learning curve to being a parent.
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​​As new parents, you may have decorated the baby's bedroom, gotten all of the baby gear and clothes, and bought the tiny (and oh so cute) newborn diapers. However, once you bring the baby home, it can seem that the calm and serenity before the baby's birth is long gone. The feeling of overwhelm, and thoughts of "can I handle this?" are normal.

Most articles and books will recommend taking care of yourself after the birth of your baby by accepting help from those around you, and to rest frequently. While this is excellent advise, you may not always feel that you can follow it. As a society we strongly value independence and the non-stop "busy" approach to life - after all, wasn't the baby just going to fit into the pre-baby life and nothing needed to change (been there, had that thought!)

When you first bring your baby home, you may believe you can handle it all, and want to continue to push yourself to keep the house spotless, the laundry done, and a healthy meal on the table every night.

However, take a moment to think about your main goal at this time in your life? What do you want to remember about this time? That you kept the household spotless? Or do you want to spend time marveling at the miracle of your baby and enjoying the constant changes the baby goes through?

When you are clear on what your goal is, then you can make a decision on how best to proceed. Instead of seeing family and friends' offers of help as an indication that you are incompetent or can't handle things, see their gifts and offerings as an opportunity to fulfill your goal of spending time with your baby. Maybe a prepared meal or gift card for a local take-out restaurant would be helpful.

Being clear on your goals also helps other pieces of your life fall into place. If your goal is to be the best mother you can be....what does that look like? Does it require self-care so you don't burn out (and become cranky)? Exercise to keep your energy up for the trip to the park? A nap instead of folding laundry so you and baby are in a good mood?

I'm not advocating doing no house work!! But having a balance between busyness and rest is important. 

My next blog will include some tips for taking smaller breaks throughout the day.

If you would like some help with the transition to motherhood, please contact Heather at 604-375-3010 or email at heather@discoverycounselling.ca