A Better Night's Sleep

Sometimes (or maybe it feels like a lot of the time) getting a good night sleep can feel like an impossibility. This can be especially true as a parent with young children.

Here are some of the classic suggestions to help you drift off to dream land:
- Regular exercise
- Limit caffeine from mid-afternoon
- Limit alcohol consumption
- Ensure room is not overly warm; a slightly cooler room can help with sleep
- Breathing – breathe in for 2; hold for a count of 1; breathe out for a count of 2; repeat.
- Focus on counting and feeling each breath.
- Visualization - remember a relaxing vacation spot or somewhere that would be relaxing
- Listen to soft, calming music
- Use relaxing fragrances - Make sleep a priority
- Aim for 7-9 hours per night – count backwards to when you need to get up to determine when you need to go to sleep
- Keep a regular routine of sleeping – as much as sleeping in on the weekend can feel good, it can disrupt the sleep in the long run.

While these techniques are useful, if you find that your sleep difficulties are due to the constant chatter going on in your mind - the “what ifs”, the to-do lists, regrets, or even worrying about getting enough sleep, here are a few more ideas that can help:
- Write out a to-do list the night before - part of the repetitiveness about these types of thoughts is that your brain is doing its job of remembering. However, that can be disruptive to sleep. Writing down any tasks, appointments, must dos for the next day will help to relax the mind and let it know it doesn’t have to work hard all night long remembering those things and waking you up to ensure that you remember.
- Writing also helps with any other thoughts you find yourself continually thinking about. Keep a notebook beside your bed, so that these can be easily written down.

If after writing it down, you find you are still having intrusive thoughts (thoughts that just won’t seem to go away), try some of these methods:
1. Visualize a container that can be tightly sealed and locked. Imagine putting all of your thoughts into the container – this is not to stuff away the thoughts or ignore them, but to place them there when it is not an appropriate time to deal with them (i.e. at 2 in the morning!). Once all the thoughts are in the container place the lid on tightly and ensure lock is closed.
2. Worry tree - imagine a large, mature tree. Picture placing your worries on this tree - the tree has become very strong over time and can hold your worries. Place a thought on each leaf or branch and let the tree take care of your thoughts for the night.
3. Put your thoughts one by one on a boat and let them sail away down the river, or place them on a cloud and watch the wind carry them away.
4. Visualize writing down your thoughts on a white board. After writing them all down, take the eraser brush and wipe them all away, knowing that they are gone and for the night, your mind is blank.

If you need something more physical to deal with the on-going thoughts, try putting them in a basket or container outside of the house. If the thoughts are related to work, keep a basket or container at work and leave the thoughts there when you leave work.

This is not an exhaustive list, but hopefully it will be a place to start to be creative in order to get more sleep.
Remember, any of these ideas mentioned above are skills learned through repetition, just like learning to drive or play a sport or musically instrument. So, try some of the different ideas and keep practicing….it can be frustrating when we don’t sleep, and are continually exhausted, and not coping to the best of our ability.

Start by having compassion for yourself and your situation, especially if you are dealing with young children who aren’t sleeping through the night yet (hint: these ideas can work for kids too!)

If you would like to solve the anxiety, overwhelm and stress that is keeping you awake at night please call Heather at 604-375-3010 or email at heather@discoverycounselling.ca